Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* (*But Were Afraid to Ask) (U.A.,1972) (TWILIGHT TIME Blu Ray ) $29.95 .Region Free A/B/C release July 18,2017 https://www.twilighttimemovies.com/everything-you-always-wanted-to-know-about-sex-but-were-afraid-to-ask-blu-ray/ . Limited to 3,000 units.
Sex Sells. The maxim in advertising is often quite true. People are shocked and titillated, offended and fascinated, intrigued and repulsed by it. Due to that, interest in it never waivers. Back in the 1948 & 1953, the two books that became known as THE KINSEY REPORTS were published. These dry data filled books shocked people , as it let the general public know that their neighbors were doing it, how they might be doing it, some kinks they might have . Masters & Johnson also published their scientific studies, that showed such far out ideas as women might actually enjoy sex .
The freer society of the late 1960s led to the publication of the book EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX* (*BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK) by David Rueben ,M.D. Published by McKay in June 1969, the book became a world wide best seller. His how to manual seemed a must have .
When it was announced that Woody Allen was going to make a film based upon the non fiction book, people were surprised. Allen ,who had begun as a writer for the Colgate Comedy Hour on television, and written short humor pieces for magazines like The New Yorker. He stepped out and began his successful stand up comedy career , which led to his guest appearances on several popular T.V. shows.
His first play, DON’T DRINK THE WATER , was a hit that ran for 598 performances, and introduced the author to Lou Jacobi and Tony Roberts, the latter who became strongly associated with Allen’s films of the 1970s and 1980s.
A year earlier , he had written and taken a small role in the popular film WHAT’S NEW ,PUSSYCAT ? (U.A.,1965) .
His next film ,co written with writing partner Mickey Rose was the redubbed Japanese spy thriller International Secret Police: Key of Keys(Toho),with all the dialogue re-dubbed into an hysterical plot about the world’s best egg salad, and the new version was called WHAT’S UP TIGER LILLY?(AIP,1966),hoping to cash in on the success of Allen’s previous movie.
Disappointed by studio interference , Allen vowed to direct and retain creative control on his next films.
His play PLAY IT AGAIN ,SAM in 1969 was another hit, and brought actress Diane Keaton into both his professional and personal life.
Working with Mickey Rose again on a screenplay , Allen also directed and starred in TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN (Cinerama,1969). The modest film doubled it’s investment ,leading U.A. to sign him to a long term (though not exclusive) deal. BANANAS(U.A.,1971) made five times its production costs ,and his play PLAY IT AGAIN SAM (which he wrote & co-starred, but did not direct for Paramount 1972) also did fairly well . Diane Keaton, Jerry Lacy and Tony Roberts also reprised their Broadway roles.
So ,Allen ,who played a nebbishy character often obsessed with but failing at sex, seemed to be ready for the ultimate sex romp. But how to turn the book into a comedy ?
His solution was to turn the film into an omnibus, with seven stories that all work separately,all dealing with sex.
Do Aphrodisiacs Work?
They definitely do for the Fool (Allen) who has fallen for the Queen(Lynn Redgrave). While his Bob Hope style one liners fail to thrill the King (Anthony Quayle),the Fool definitely has an interest in the lovely Queen(Vanessa Redgrave) that involves more than jokes.
While walking the parapet, the Fool has an encounter with his father’s ghost (Allan Caillou,probably best known to many as The Head on the short lived tv series QUARK (Columbia,1977-78).A very funny exchange parodying Hamlet ensues.
The ghost sends him to the Sorcerer (played with glee by Geoffrey Holder) who give him a love potion
The potion definitively gets her in the mood. Their amour is stopped by her chastity belt,of which her husband The King has the key. Let us say it ends with Fool losing his head over sex. A very Decameron inspired tale,by way of Woody Allen. ”It’s great to be back here in the palace!”
WHAT IS SODOMY?
Gene Wilder is Dr Ross,a general practitioner. A new patient ,Stavros Milos ( Titos Vandis,who had starred on Broadway in the original ON A CLEAR DAY YOU CAN SEE FOREVER,1965)),has a problem. He was a lonely shepherd who feels that his sheep Daisy no longer loves him. Shocked at first, Dr Ross is smitten by her sheep eyes, and persuades Milos to leave her with him.This leads to the doctor’s downfall,as he is discovered with the animal, ending in his divorce ,a nervous breakdown,his career shattered ,and him drinking Woolite. Wilder is superb and very sympathetic, so it makes the ending somewhat sad rather than funny.
Why Do Some Women Have Trouble Reaching an Orgasm?
Woody returns in this spoof of Italian films. Here he is Fabrizio ,a husband of six weeks. His lovely blonde wife Gina (played by Allen’s real life second ex-wife Louise Lasser)is unable to climax during sex. Talking with friends provides no help ,until one day when he kisses her in a store ,she gets excited and they begin having sex in public.
The film is an hysterical satire of the popular films that were filling the art-house theatres . The clean lines ,camera set ups, and dialog marvelously send up the films of Fellini and Antonioni. The dialogue is even in Italian with English subtitles.
Are Transvestites Homosexuals?
Lou Jacobi is brilliant as a man who is at a dinner party at a friend’s home, when he decides to try on some of the wife’s outfits. The episode kind of ends abruptly,making it one of the more unsatisfying episodes,plus it never answers the question posed. For the solution ,one needs to seek out the works of Ed Wood (the answer, by the way ,is no.Not all transvestites are homosexual).
The author of the original book, by the way, seemed to be anti homosexual.He found gay male sex life as loveless anonymous encounters,and also called a trans woman as a “surgically mutilated male homosexual”.
What Are Sex Perverts?
This segment is made to look like the popular game show “What’s My Line?” as if taken from an old black & white kinescope. Jack Barry plays himself ,as the host moderator of “What’s My Perversion?”. In real life ,Barry had been involved in the game show scandals of the 1950s . Among the real life celebrities who had careers on panel shows guessing portraying themselves are Regis Philbin, Robert Q Lewis,and Pamela Mason, as well as Toni Holt(now infamous for strong support of Donald Trump). There are a few jokes about child molesters and rape that may offend .
Are the Findings of Doctors and Clinics Who Do Sexual Research and Experiments Accurate?
This is my favorite segment of the film. An hysterical send up of low budget horror films. Heather MacRae ( daughter of Sheila & Gordon MacRae) portrays Helen Lacey , an investigative journalist whose car breaks down .Luckily, she meets Dr Victor (Allen) who is going to the same destination,the home of mad scientist ,Doctor Bernardo (John Carradine, in an uproarious send up of a role he had often portrayed). He and his hunchback assistant Igor (Ref Sanchez,whose make up resembles Karkov in TERROR IN THE WAX MUSEUM(Cinerama,1973),a film that also starred- John Carradine!!)are taking part in strange sexual experiments, among them one of which an unconscious woman is being given nothing but silicone for a whole year.
”She used to be flat chested .Give me another year, and watch out”cries Carradine,the thought of which starts him slobbering and smacking his lips insanely.
Karkov in TERROR IN THE WAX MUSEUM
Dr Bernardo plans to use Helen in his next sexual experiment ,but a fight breaks out ,and the equipment explodes and goes into overdrive . The result is that the silicone woman is turned into a giant deadly breast that begins to terrorize the countryside.
The film has the look of so many of the drive in films of the period ,including the stilted explanatory dialogue, the few pieces of mad scientist equipment, and oh yes John Carradine!
What Happens During Ejaculation?
Production Designer Dale Hennesy takes an early stab at the look that he will use for Allen’s next futuristic film, SLEEPER (U.A.,1973). In this segment, the set and the sequence at times resembles the 1966 science fiction classic FANTASTIC VOYAGE (Fox,1966) .The brain of our unseen protagonist is run by The Operator (Tony Randall) his assistant Switchboard(Burt Reynolds),and Brain Control ( Oscar Beregi,Jr) .They discuss the latest string of sexual failures, and The Operator checks out their current date (played by Erin Fleming. Fleming is perhaps best known as the woman who helped thrust Groucho Marx in his later years back into the spotlight, only to be sued by the comedian’s family after his death).
They are unsure if this date will result in sex until she says she went to New York University . “We’re in!”crows The Operator confidently.
The various parts of the body are contacted, trying to help get an erection( operated in a room filled with sweaty shirtless men trying to raise a hand cranked crane).
The sperm gather ,as if they are parachuters in a World War II film. One of them is Allen, who fears what’s out there, as you hear about guys hitting against a rubber wall,or perhaps it is an homosexual encounter!
The film is very funny , though some may be offended by some of the humor(rape jokes,gay humor, lines like “This is what we call a beaver shot”. ). That said, if you are going to see an R rated film with this title, you shouldn’t really be surprised .
The film was again a big hit for Allen, making a profit 9 times it’s $2 million dollar budget.
The film had formerly been available on VHS on Key Video .In 2000, MGM released with an acceptable Region 1 print.
The Twilight Time print seems sharper than the film has looked for years, though there is strong grain in the original negative . The film is presented in a 1080p High Definition ,1.85.1 ratio . The audio is English only 1.0 DTS-HD MA. The sound is clean and acceptable,with the dialogue clean and clear. There are also optional English subtitles,that follow the dialogue and action perfectly. This comes in handy if you wish to listen to Mundell Lowe’s score on an isolated track.It is a perfectly serviceable though hardly memorable film score.Still , it is nice that the option is offered.
Julie Kirgo has written a nice essay enclosed in a lovely booklet that is a Twilight Time specialty,wherein she points out that the film was a hit with almost everyone—except Dr David Reuben. Some people just don’t have a sense of humor.
I am aware that Arrow Academy in the U.K. released a region B only version in September ,2016. I do not have access to that print, but I do know it lacks the isolated music track.
If you are a fan of Woody Allen (as I am ) or enjoy wild comedies, you would be well advised to pick up TWILIGHT TIME’s Blu Ray of EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX .
–Recommended.
Kevin G Shinnick
scarletthefilmmagazine 